What is Lesbian?

By: Megan

Hi! My name is Megan, I use she/her pronouns and I identify as a lesbian.

A lesbian is (but not limited to):

  • Someone who identifies as a female who is sexually or romantically attracted to another person who also identifies as female.

A lesbian isn’t (but has been portrayed as):

  • An object of male sexual desire
  • Someone who hasn’t found the ‘right’ man
  • Attracted to every girl they see/are friends with

There are many stereotypes about the lesbian community that make it hard for lesbians to express themselves as individual people rather than just their label.

One of these stereotypes is the ‘type’ of lesbian you are. People have a tendency to view lesbians in two different extremes and expect you to fall into either category. You’re either expected to be a lesbian who is very masculine and might as well ‘be a man’ or very feminine and then you are perceived as ‘not a real lesbian’ and only there for the sexual desire of men. As a result of both of these extremes, it makes a lesbian woman feel that they need to fit into a certain role to be identified as a lesbian.

Apart from the many difficulties that I personally face as a lesbian I feel completely comfortable in my sexuality and being able to express it. I have been identifying as a lesbian from the age of 12/13 and have been out to my family and friends from the age of 15. Although my mum took it hard at the beginning she quickly realised that I was more than just my sexuality and I was the same person as I was before coming out.

I realise that everyone has a different story and process when coming out as a member of the LGBT+ community my advice to you would be to give people time to become used to it. If they still aren’t able to accept it then these are people that you do not need in your life. However I will say that in your life you will meet people who accept and love you for who you are and will put all those negative people in their place.